Earlier this evening after a vet consultation we decided that it was time to say goodbye to Yoko. It was really hard. It’s been a difficult week. I can’t quite get my head around the fact that I don’t have any hens now. I miss Yoko and I miss having my girls. I’m really sad.
Despite the ‘success’ of the operation, Yoko had got worse and worse all week. She stopped showing any interest in life – going off her food, drinking less and spending most of her time sleeping in her makeshift nestbox/carrier in the shed. Whilst I was at work Rich would check on her continuously through the day and I would take over the minute I got in from work.
We were hoping she would improve, but it wasn’t to be. It could have been a number of things associated with the operation and her peritonitis, nothing that could really be ‘fixed’. We just didn’t want her to suffer and just ‘exist’. Despite having sterile EYP, she’d had an extra 18 months with us. She’d had a good run outside of the battery cages and we dedicated so much of ourselves to giving her extra care.
So our vet gave us a couple of minutes to say goodbye. I told her how much we’d enjoyed having her, how much I cared for her, how she could say hello to the others for me and could keep them in line, wherever they were. I stroked her head and as she’d done all week, she nodded off. We were let out the back way and I stood in the car park and cried. I cried for Yoko and cried for the fact that I’ve now said goodbye to the last of my first girls.
It just feels odd. I keep wanting to go out and check on them, or feel compelled to be outside at dusk. I see food and think I’ll save it for a treat for my girls. We’ve cleared out her things in the shed; I didn’t want to see her empty box and food and water bowls around.
So now my Smallest Smallholding is chickenless. In some ways it’ll be relief to not worry about my hens; the past year or so has seen at least one of them going through an illness. I won’t have to get up so early in the summer to let them out, I won’t feel the guilt of missing them whilst I’m at work.
But I feel SO strongly that there are three or four other girls out there, currently behind bars, unaware that they’ll be coming here to live out the rest of their lives. That, I know, is a certainty. We’ll have a break; lots of vet bills are expensive and we need a holiday. But this isn’t it. It’s not over for my Smallest Smallholding, despite the fact that my first girls are now no longer with us.
But this break…being without hens…for me, it’s going to take a lot of getting used to. A lot.
Rest in Peace Yoko. You were a wonderfully bright, vivacious girl and you brought me a lot of happiness. I hope you liked your life here. I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know xxx