I will always love you, little one

On Saturday, my best friend, my little one, one of the things I loved most in this world was taken from me. I have so much grief that I simply can’t express it in words. Mindu, my little cat of 13 years and 2 months, was accidentally given an overdose of her chemo medication. After fighting for a week to survive, her body just couldn’t cope any more. She didn’t suffer at the end. She slipped into sleep and never woke up.

There is a big hole in my family and in my heart. All I can feel is sadness at the moment. I cared for her every day for 13 years. She was doing so well the week before it happened – putting on weight, purring and cuddling, eating well. I knew it was going to happen eventually with her cancer but we thought we had maybe another year with her. She was taken from me and I just have to go on without her now.

I’ll miss her cuddles, her purring, the way she would tread all over me in bed and knead me. Her headbutts, the way when I picked her up she sunk into me and just fitted in my arms. The way she used to wait on the stairs for me and spring up them and around the corner when I got halfway up. The way when I woke up on summer mornings I would see her stretched out in a patch of sunshine, or sitting on the back of the chair in my bedroom, surveying her kingdom below. The way she would cheekily jump out the window and smile-blink at me on the roof. The way she would knead with sometimes one paw stretched out a bit further than the other and go in double-time when she was really into it. The way she would wiggle her tail and stamp her feet when she was excited. The way she would put her head through the bannisters and rub the side of her face up and down when she knew you had some treats you were bringing up for her. The way she would curl up next to me every morning, close to my body, or come and rest on my chest with her head close to mine. The way she would sometimes lie straight down my legs, stretched out because she fit perfectly. The way she would turn herself upside down when curled in a ball and wrap her paw around her head and sigh contentedly. The way she would manicure her toes with such ferocity. The way she would sometimes just leap around on my duvet – her favourite place in the world – being silly. The way she would chatter when birds flew past the window. The way she would get silly and just keep headbutting me from side to side when I was trying to work on my laptop.

I just miss her *so* much. It’s so painful to lose someone you have loved and will always love.

Mindu and me