Bit of a Set-Back with the Potatoes

I’m currently sporting a some major lacerations and puncture wounds to my arm and I fear that my chitting potatoes are RUINED!

OK, I’m revelling in being a little melodramatic here, but I do have a few puncture wounds and scratches on my arm and I think a few of my potatoes might bite the dust.

I was basically working away upstairs today, when I heard a big commotion downstairs. It turns out that a neighbour’s cat had invited himself into our kitchen, and one of our cats was NOT having it. So you can imagine the noise, the tumbling about, the fat tails and me admist the furore trying to simultaneously separate three cats whilst keeping myself in tact. Not an easy feat.

The cats tumbled through the utility room and ended up in the conservatory with another one of my cats. Our cat Tortoise (confusing, sort of) who had flown at the visiting neighbour’s ginger cat was getting muddled up and going for our ginger cat Tom too. Poor Tom didn’t know what the hell was going on, and neighbour’s ginger cat was leaping about the place, tiddling everywhere. He settled on my chitting potatoes, and managed to soak a few of them with his widdle. So owing to the ridiculously caustic and corrosive nature of cat wee, I don’t think they’re going to make it.

I picked him up off my potatoes, and he was a bit wound up. He starting yelling at me, and Tortoise took it as her cue to launch herself onto my arm, trying to swipe the neighbour’s cat that I was carrying. With just her front paws, she dug her claws in and hung off my arm for a good few seconds, all her big fat weight bearing down through her claws into MY SKIN. I asked her to let go politely, and finally she moodily obliged, allowing me to put the visiting neighbour’s ginger cat out of the catflap (don’t think he’ll be around again in a hurry). I went to tend to poor old Tom who was looking all big eyed and worried. After a few soothing words and gentle pats, and a whole lot of Feliway sprayed around the house, I think normality has been restored. Neighbours have also been informed about their cat, mostly because I wanted to check he was ok. Tortoise was right to defend her territory, but she is a complete madam sometimes and can be such a mardy old trout. Poor Tom got a bit of a boxing just because she’d been put in a bad mood – but he loves her so much that he follows her around regardless. Weird cat.

I told Rich about the potatoes and he pulled a face – “you’re not going to EAT them now are you?” he asked. Cue a whole load of explaining about how potato tubers actually work, and the fact that you don’t eat the seed potato itself. Still, it doesn’t matter, I can’t see the wee-wee potatoes doing anything now. Boo hoo. What do I do? Clean them? Leave them? Chuck then out?

I’ve cleaned and tended to my wounds with a whole lot of antiseptic – I think I came off the worst out of the whole scenario. 4 large puncture wounds – 2 for each paw that was clamped around my arm, and a series of smaller punctures and scratches. I think Tortoise might have gone so far as to get her claws into my muscle or tendon – it’s SO bloody sore. I kind of feel cheated that it doesn’t look as bad as it feels! Mum said perhaps if it doesn’t get any better, a trip to the docs and some sort of injection might be in order.

Oh, and Rich’s helpful contribution after the whole furore went like this: “that cat pissed on your shitting (chitting) potatoes, ha HA!”. Thanks Rich.