Changing Seasons, Changing Circumstances

I’m sorry. I’ve been awfully neglectful. I’ve intended to come and write a post, but something always gets in the way; a trip to Birmingham, a desire to steer clear of looking at computer screens at night, a quiet night in at the pub, freelance work… you know how it is.

About two or three weeks ago I took a picture of my butternut squash. There was a flower, which spawned a fruit, which then grew and grew. But I have a feeling it’s not going to get any bigger. I took another picture – it’s only a few inches long. Hmmm. I won’t throw it away, I’ll try and roast it or something. And then do what I usually do – hope I do better next year.

I’ve done some raking of leaves, collecting of crab apples and a bit of tidying here and there, but nothing meaty. I really really need to get hold of some green manure to grow in my sandy plots. They’re just so devoid of any condition or nutrition that I can’t see them being particularly productive next year. My question to you all is this; what is your preferred way of feeding your soil over the winter? I need to know!

The other thing I’ve been struggling with since my last post is a fairly major change to my work life. We found out that we’re moving offices, and the most likely move is going to be 30 miles away, in Northampton. That’s a 60-mile round-trip for me every day. I’m not a happy bunny. There could be a few options; perhaps a home-based contract and the option to go in a few days a week, but that’s not exactly conducive to learning. My role changed three months ago and I’m in a training position, and the best way I can do that is to be with people. Being on my own a lot isn’t really the best way to move forward.

But then being at home a few more days a week will be great for me and my smallest smallholding. It really will. A home-based contract isn’t a given yet, but it’s a real distinct possibility. In many ways, it’s what I wanted for a long time, but now that I’m faced with it, I’m wondering whether it’d be a bad move. I just spend my days flip-flopping between what I think I think about it all.

It doesn’t help that I’ve not been remotely enjoying myself at work lately, it’s been really hard going and I feel a bit demoralised. But I’ve tried to stay positive and see how it goes; new projects and more experience might make it better.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be commuting 60 miles in the car every day. I don’t want to stall in my professional development either. And I don’t particularly want to be looking for another job right now, it’s such a bad time.

What to do, what to do…