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November 15, 2016 by

Autumn acer leaves

Six weeks have passed and I’ve thought so many times about digging out the laptop and tapping away on a blog post. But somehow I never quite find the time. Baby E is now 11 1/2 weeks old and although we’re getting more sleep time at night, she dominates the days. And so she should. She is just amazing.

But here I am. Tapping away whilst arms and legs flail in front of me. E is refusing to nap and instead is wiggling around on her tummy on my tummy, practising holding her little fluffy head up, cooing and laughing with twinkly blue eyes at something random on the wall behind me. I think she might be finding the light fitting funny. It’s usually a good 10 minutes’ worth of amusement each day, until she remembers she has hands and tries to stuff them into her mouth for the next half an hour.

Hogwarts shoes and Autumn leaves

Suffice to say, my good life-ing journey has been taking a little sabbatical whilst I navigate motherhood. There are days that are so busy, yet I lie in bed at night wondering what on earth I’ve actually done. To say that my Smallest Smallholding has been neglected is an understatement.

Veg and flower border

The borders are going over, looking a bit sad and neglected

But two days ago I had a mini victory when I managed to wheel E out in the garden in the pushchair, get her to settle and sleep whilst I raked barrow loads of autumnal leaves. I’ve got garlic and shallots waiting in the wings to be planted but that’s going to take some coordination, on a day when Rich isn’t working. Which is a rarity at the moment.

I’m doing small things in snatches and it’s helping me stay rooted and not get lost in nappies, muslins and milk. I’ve baked an apple tart and bought a small bag of compost to pot up the winter pansies and cyclamen for the back door.

Whether I get around to actually doing everything on my To Do List… well, that’s another story altogether.

Got to sign off, E is yelling and the leg action has kicked up a notch.

Filed Under: flowers, garden Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

On demand

September 15, 2016 by

 

Sunrise bedfordshire

I’m sitting here sprawled on the sofa in 30 degree heat, baby spread eagled and snoring on my chest, Lilla our white polar bear of a cat purring by my side. Summer is having a last hurrah, and to be honest, I would much rather it packed it’s bags for good for 2016.

These days, since the birth of my daughter (herein known as ‘E’), it’s a monumental achievement if I can make it out of the house before midday, a rare occurrence that I remember (or bother) to brush my hair, or achieve anything vaguely non-baby related. E is approaching three weeks old and these early days are demanding. I know it won’t always be like this but I do miss routines and the ability to just potter at will.

A return to a new normality will come, I know that. But for my own sanity, I need to achieve a little something every day. Otherwise I feel like I’m just existing – sleeping, eating, a human milk bar, nappy changer, zombified parent who watches the days slip by.

A few weeks ago I invested in a bullet journal (“bujo”), which has been  used since to help track spending, baby shopping before the birth, meal planning, task lists, and so on. It’s been invaluable and a bit of a revelation. In a good way.

But where I was box ticking several items and achieving several tasks a day before E’s arrival, at the moment it’s a different story. Over the last week or so I’ve come to realise that there’s just no way I can do what I was doing before. So to retain my sanity I’ve decided to do keep it simple; do one thing each day.

Today, that task is weeding the front garden. Tomorrow, it might be sorting out the washing and putting it away. On Saturday, I might aim to plant up two plant pots for Autumn. The hope is that these baby steps will keep things rolling and I’ll head into winter having just about kept on top of things at the Smallest Smallholding.

 

Filed Under: family, plans, veg Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Catching time

March 22, 2016 by

spring flowers

Last week apparently it was the beginning of spring, and although we had one day of glorious blue skies and sunshine, it still feels very much like we’re stuck in the mud and droll greyness of winter. The only clue that spring may be on its way are the vivid yellow daffodils bravely poking their heads above the rain-soaked soil under the fruit trees, and a few slightly gnarled tulip leaves that have also begun to emerge.

My life has been so work and pregnancy-centric for the last few weeks that I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble. I just get through each day and I long for a bit of quiet time at the weekends. Our time as just “me and Rich” (and a small mengarie of fluffy companions) is getting shorter and shorter each week. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited about what the future holds but I also want to make sure that Rich and I make the most of being able to just take off whenever we feel like it, without the need to coordinate this and that. OK, so the reality is we still need to make sure everyone is fed and watered and OK here, but before our world is turned upside down I want to enjoy it.

I’m not quite there at the moment.

I think we need to book some time out for ourselves. Everything feels so relentless and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore all the things that need doing. I wish so much that I could just afford to stop now and take a big rest, catch my breath and have the time to work through this huge long list of house renovations, garden jobs, baby prep and everything else in between that needs sorting out.

I’ve been so focused on work and trying to get prepped financially that I feel like I’ve neglected the most important thing right now; staying happy, staying positive and being healthy. To do that, I need time and I need head space. I don’t know if it’s the hormones but sometimes I feel like bursting out crying because I feel like I’m so unprepared and overwhelmed. It quickly passes because I know deep down that I can do it. I just feel like I’m running out of steam and I just want some quiet time, just for us, to do what we need to do and at the pace we need to do it. So I can bring this baby into the world and make sure I don’t lose myself.

Wishful thinking?

Filed Under: family, plans Tagged With: , , , ,
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