It’s Not Quite 9-5 For Me Yet (Plus Veg Updates)

 A beautiful dragonfly (or damselfly?) has been hanging around the Smallest Smallholding lately. Just managed to snap this pic before it sped off again.

Thanks all for the encouragement. I did send in my CV, but unfortunately I don’t think it’ll go any further. Spoke to the agency today and they said that a fair amount of stronger candidates were put forward and the employers had requested two interviews. My name was put on the backburner - so whilst not a definitive ‘no’, it’s basically a ‘most probably not’.

I was OK until I told Rich. Then I blubbed a bit. I don’t know why - disappointment I suppose. It’s just that I know I can do the work, I just haven’t got the experience or had a proper chance to prove myself. Other people probably have worked in similar roles and been able to prove themselves through that. For me, it’s just been a year and a bit of toiling to make it viable, and ever so slowly building up my portfolio and client list.

The thing was I was getting quite enthusiastic over the weekend. I kept saying things like “if I got this job I could…”. It was as though I was looking around and seeing the changes I could make to my life if I had a decent, regular income. But now I’m back to square one and feeling…well, rejected basically. I’ll pick myself up and soldier on, I have no choice because the bills are still coming in thick and fast and I’ve come to the end of a couple of projects and am now on the lookout for more work. I feel guilty about being outside working, weeding, planting or pruning because until I’ve secured some more income. I can’t relax really.

I think I’m particularly sensitive and having a bit of an emotional wobble about it because my grandmother went into hospital just before the weekend. She’s got two or more serious infections - as in, her blood has been poisoned - and she was really quite critical at the weekend. She’s improved thank God, but she’s not out of the woods yet and there is the distinct possibility that the infections could make a comeback, stronger and more potent than ever. We have a very closeknit family, and Nannie is the ultimate matriarch, so you can imagine the stress that it’s been under. What’s even more stressful is trying to support my Mum, but not feeling like I can take the stress or the emotional upheaval away from her. So I just try and help in other ways. Nannie always wanted me to make a success of my ‘talents’, so she knew about this job. Now I feel like I have to try even harder to get something decent, because the stability it would bring to me, an the knock-on effect it would have on Rich and the rest of my family would be tremendous. You see, Rich and I live in my childhood home that still belongs to my parents, and if we could even afford to take out half a mortgage on the place, it would mean a lot to us to get our foot on the property ladder, but also an awful lot in releasing something for my parents. They’ve sacrificed a lot for me, they’ve given me so much and I just don’t feel that I’ve even begun to repay them or taken enough responsibility for myself. I’m 25 and effectively still living in a family home. I feel like a burden.

But on the other hand, Mum tells me how proud she is of my ‘ethics’ and the way I’m trying to live. She loves the fact that I’ve rescued hens, that I grow my own veg (inherited from her and my maternal Pappa), and love cooking. But I feel like if I’m going to stand a chance of realising my dream, I need to secure something that will bring stability. The past few days have really brought it home. I’m trying to get more work, I’ve had some very useful tips from readers of this blog, offers of guidance and pointing me in the right direction - to those of you that have done this, I just wish you knew how much it means to have people guiding me and mentoring me through it. I do take on board your thoughts and suggestions, and am acting on them.

Gosh, I’ve been a bit lacklustre with the ‘proper’ veg posts lately haven’t I. I’ll attempt to do a quick round up:

My sweetcorn are growing. All 2 cobs, but at least it’s a start. I checked out when to harvest and apparently it’s when the tassles turn brown.

All of our plums have now either become wasp-bitten windfall, or fallen prey to the greedy beaks of Maureen and Yoko the hens

All but one of my kilaxy cabbages have been savaged by cabbage white caterpillars.

My Autumn King (Improved) carrots are ready for harvesting, and are BIG and absolutely delicious. They’re a wee bit knobbly on the outside, but absolutely fine when peeled. Sweet and crisp, perfect in soups, stews and with roast potatoes. If you want to try growing carrots, get yourself some of these babies. The foliage has also served as free rabbit food, saving us quite a lot on pet food bills. I think I might at least triple my output next year - I eat carrots like they’re going out of fashion, they’re useful for buns (and sometimes hens!) and they’re one of the few vegetables that are actually better for you when cooked than raw.

I’m getting through our supply of Red Baron, Hercules and Giant Stuttgarter onions at a rate of knots. All are delicious, potent and crisp and

I’m also using our thermidrome Garlic regularly. I dried a few of the bulbs because I didn’t want them to rot in the ground. And although the garlic ‘casing’ around the cloves hardened quite a lot, the cloves inside are still moist and taste fresh.

I planted some leftover Maris Piper seed potatoes in one of my plots. They’re yielding pretty smallish results compared to the allotment, but still useable.

Mum and I are just waiting for the leeks to grow on a bit before we plant them in at the allotment. In fact, the allotment is looking sparse as we’ve harvested the produce we put in this year. It’s a fight against the weeds, and given everything that’s going on with Nannie, plus my guilt-sodden drive to get more work, it’s been neglected a bit. I’m hoping to get up there in the next couple of days. The plan is to weed like mad, then we’re going to do a little landscaping and do something a bit different to your generic square or rectangular beds. We’ve got two large rhubarb crowns growing (more rhubarb crumble this weekend I feel) and we left the asparagus to go to seed, but apart from that, everything is either harvested or finished. The raspberry canes are going to need cutting right back soon, too. The fruiting was OK this year, but I didn’t cut them back early enough in the year, so will definitely make more of a concerted effort later on.

Here at the Smallest Smallholding, it would be easier to list what jobs don’t need doing. But soon it’ll be that time of year when I can just gut everything, ready for a fresh, more productive start to next year. Got to keep soldiering on…