Typical. Just when we’re forecast with a run of rain-free days, I’m feeling pants. I don’t know what it is, all I know is that I was visiting my grandmother in hospital and towards the end of my visit, I almost fainted. Had a nap this afternoon after I came back and feel slightly better. Just a bit worried because some of my family have what they’ve eloquently described as a ‘dicky tummy’ or ‘the shits’. Really hoping I haven’t got that, eugh.

The reason I’m grumbling is because I’m desperate to get out into the Smallest Smallholding and rescue it from looking like a forlorn, feeble, overgrown weedy vegetable patch. I really need to move the kale so the individual plants can establish themselves and boy, do we need to mow. Hedges and trees are desperate for cutting and pruning, soil needs nutrition and conditioning, veg needs harvesting and I need a hot drink and knocking out for a few days. At the moment all I feel like doing is disappearing beneath my scrumptiously soft, warm duvet flanked by a cuddly cat or two. Murphy’s Law or what?

Being a bit ill or off colour reminds me how lucky I am to work from home. I have work to be getting on with this weekend, but I can prop myself up in bed, and punctuate the day with a nap or three if I feel really awful. I can cast aside my laptop, let my head sink into my pillow and wait until my brain is firing on all cylinders again before I resume my work. No bosses or line managers watching me, no apologising because I’m not working at a rate of knots. I’ve been there - sitting at your desk, feeling like death warmed up, bosses tutting because I’m not ill enough to be signed off work (apparently, according to one boss, I wasn’t ill during the first seven days of self-certification, despite the receptionists at the doctors surgery being outraged when I turned up saying my boss was demanding a doctor’s note). You don’t feel as if you can ask to go home because of the baleful stares, you wait for five o’clock to crawl around, and once you’re home you spend a miserable evening dreading making the phonecall in the morning when you have to wrestle with your line manager to actually have a day off. Or you dread being met with a record card when you return to work, because you were unlucky enough to get a chest infection followed by an unfortunate and unpleasant tummy bug passed on by your 6 year old cousin, who got it from other kids at school.

Yeah, I’m really glad I can manage myself.

But I digress. I’m frustrated at the weather. I don’t usually mind the rain, because when it’s raining it’s not being just dull and grey. But the persistant rain has set me back weeks with everything I wanted to do, and yet again we’re sitting in a rain-induced stasis. However Rich is admant that we’ll be turning the huge compost heap soon. It’s a big job, there’s a lot of ‘matter’ in there. I don’t think he realises how much hard work it’ll be. I might just stand and direct, and appease him with a constant flow of cups of tea.  I shall definitely reap the rewards though; lovely rich compost ready for my veg plots. But although I moan and groan about our poor soil, I think the sandy soil we do have has been a bit of a Godsend this year. My carrots are still in the ground and show no signs of rot. The last of the potatoes came out last week and were tip top. I’d probably be cursing and moaning even more if we’d had a hot, dry summer. So it’s not been all bad!

Yoko our hen is also being half-broody. She spends half the day in her nestbox in the shed, and I give her one of Maureen’s eggs to sit on. She gently taps it under her huge undercarriage, spread-eagles herself in hovercraft mode and looks very stern but content. I then go to and fro all morning making sure she’s eating and drinking enough. Around lunchtime she then packs it all in and decides it’s not worth it, and wonders off to join Maureen, bellowing at me through the gate. I was in the bath this morning and heard Yoko bellowing at the top of her lungs from the garden. Rich rushed out in a panic and emerged a few minutes later. We thought something dreadful was happening. Apparently Yoko was just in a strop because Maureen had dared to go and sit in HER nestbox in the shed. Women!

[carrots pic coming soon]

A few weeks ago I was pleasantly surprised to receive firstly an email from Keo Films (the people behind the River Cottage tv productions) and then a few days later Louise France from the Observer. Both parties were interested in my blog, both parties wondered if they could talk to me about some production/article they were writing about Smallholding and greenshifting. But after I explained to them the actual scale of what I do, they said it sounded great but weren’t sure if it was right for their respective pieces. Sadly, I didn’t hear back.

Here is Louise’s article that I could have been a part of: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/sep/07/ethicalliving.family

Still really interesting, OK so I’m a little bummed I don’t qualify and it would have been nice to have some coverage, but nevermind eh. Incidentally, Musings from a Stonehead is a blog I’ve read for quite some time. I’m pretty shameless in my ambition to do a Jimmy Doherty/Jamie Oliver/Monty whatsisface (not Don) and push this ‘greenshifting/home farming/micr farming/self sufficiency/market garden’ in a variety of media. Books, TV, documentaries, blogging, podcasts, magazine features - you name it, I’d love to do it. I love watching or reading things that inspire me to jump up off the sofa and leap into action, I wish I could do the same for others.

But to be honest, the relentless rain has been a bit of a hindrance here. We haven’t been able to get our monster mower out for ages (it walks us rather than us pushing it) and it’s looking a bit wild out there. Nettles have sprung up all around the greenhouse area and under the fruit trees - that’s one big digging job in a few weeks. The weeds aren’t as prolific - thank goodness - but the dandelions (free BunBun food) are spreading. EEEeeek! I just need a few dry days to get out there and sort it out. We’re still waiting to be able to cut all the hedging. Actually, I’m hoping for a few dry days so I can start gathering some small bits of firewood. Then I think Mum and I are going trekking to gather some ‘wild’ firewood. Responsibly, mind. Got to leave some behind so that it rots and provides fodder and shelter for beetles and their friends. You see, I’ve told Rich we’re not allowed to have the central heating on until at least the beginning of November. I’m one of these people that has to sleep with the window open though, and as a consequence despite it being September I’m already sleeping with an extra blanket and duvet (and sometimes two pairs of socks).

In veggie news, I am so very impressed with my Autumn King (Improved) Carrots. The majority of them are long, straight and thick. Not too many have been munched, and when pulled and cooked straight away, they’re pretty damned sweet. We’ve been enjoying them in all sorts of guises, and they’re the best crop I’ve ever produced. We have sandy soil here which is great for carrots and onions. Even better for me, seeing as I eat buckets of carrots and onions anyway.

I dug up the last of the maris pipers here - there’s still a few pink fir apple potatoes at the allotment to come up. My maris piper seed potatoes that I put in here at the Smallest Smallholding were the remaining small ones I hadn’t put in at the allotment, and as I expected the crop they yielded weren’t as impressive. Still had a few good sized potatoes though. I’m just exceedingly lazy and find peeling the little potatoes a pain in the backside.

My kale is starting to ’stabilise’ and root itself nicely. Shame that I’m going to have to transplant it *again* into it’s proper position.

And lastly - last year around October I collected up just one bag of leaves for my leaf mould compost. I’m going to tip it out soon and use it as a soil conditioner, and hopefully some of my compost will be usable too. I’m going to try and put some nutrients in the soil before I put my kale in properly, and I have some seaweed extract that I’ll ‘administer’. The other vacant beds over winter will probably be host to some green manure - agricultural mustard I think as apparently you don’t have to keep it in check once you’ve sown it.

In other news - Nannie has been seriously ill in hospital, so I’ve been pretty stressed about that. She seems to be improving so fingers crossed she remains to do so. The job situation - I may still be in the running for this writing job that I thought I hadn’t got a chance at - but I’ll probably hear on Monday. Still not convinced I’ll make it to interview. Apparently my lack of commercial experience is the main consideration (but how am I supposed to get in-house commercial experience if no one will take a chance on me?). And I’ve also been eating too many crisps. Help!

I think this summer can safely go down in the history books as a Wet One. I’m too bothered, I haven’t really got into the swing of summer this year. Besides, I’m an Autumn kind of gal really. It’s all jumpers, tights, root veg, hearty soups and fresh, wet sunny mornings.

The rain is good in a few regards, mainly because it saved me the epic task of watering every day. It also saves on resources. I wish I had more water butts about, we have a measly ONE water butt that regularly overflows. That’s definitely on my list of Things to Buy When I Have Some Spare Money or Things To Buy When I Win the Lottery. There’s tonnes of ways you can recycle big containers to use them as water butts, but I never quite come across the right sort of containers. It’s probably because I’m not looking hard enough. You can get old food storage containers that are steam cleaned and ready for use. Just whack some mesh over the top (stops leaves and small animals/children/haphazard adults comme moi) and voila, a new waterbutt!

Hang on, I’ve diverted from what I was going to post about…

Oh yes, why the rain is good. Aside from saving me from watering, it also keeps the wildlife well watered. The really dry summers can be just as big killers as cold hard winters for wildlife. The only problem is that stagnant water can be a breeding ground for nasties like botulism. If you keep hens, you’ll know that they like to drink from little puddles all over the place. If these puddles have been sitting there for a while, then they can be a one way ticket to a lot of trouble. So I have to be careful about leaving out plant dishes, old compost bags, anything that can collect water.

Actually we have an old water feature that Rich has been planning to rewire and use again. It’s basically just a big black round container with room for the pump and a lid on top where you can place your pebbles or stones. I moved it out of the way a while back and it filled with rainwater. Since then the blackbirds have been coming down daily to use it as a bath and drinking station. We even had a resident toad followed by Mr. Frog for a few days. It makes me want to start my wildlife pond in earnest, but that really is something I’ll have to think long and hard about. We have to make it so that the hens won’t scratch it up, won’t be tempted to drink loads and eat from it, and of course, that nothing can fall in without a safe escape route (shallow levels).

The rain iwasn’t so great for my onion drying. Some of the foliage had fallen over, so I pulled the onions out and had laid them on the veg plot bed to dry out. Luckily we had a few warm, sunny days in August. Yesterday morning from around 6-10am we had the most glorious warm, fresh sunshine. But since then it’s been damp and quite chilly for September.  I need to start learning how to properly store my veg, as I’m trying to increase my output and decrease my reliability on supermarkets each year.

 A beautiful dragonfly (or damselfly?) has been hanging around the Smallest Smallholding lately. Just managed to snap this pic before it sped off again.

Thanks all for the encouragement. I did send in my CV, but unfortunately I don’t think it’ll go any further. Spoke to the agency today and they said that a fair amount of stronger candidates were put forward and the employers had requested two interviews. My name was put on the backburner - so whilst not a definitive ‘no’, it’s basically a ‘most probably not’.

I was OK until I told Rich. Then I blubbed a bit. I don’t know why - disappointment I suppose. It’s just that I know I can do the work, I just haven’t got the experience or had a proper chance to prove myself. Other people probably have worked in similar roles and been able to prove themselves through that. For me, it’s just been a year and a bit of toiling to make it viable, and ever so slowly building up my portfolio and client list.

The thing was I was getting quite enthusiastic over the weekend. I kept saying things like “if I got this job I could…”. It was as though I was looking around and seeing the changes I could make to my life if I had a decent, regular income. But now I’m back to square one and feeling…well, rejected basically. I’ll pick myself up and soldier on, I have no choice because the bills are still coming in thick and fast and I’ve come to the end of a couple of projects and am now on the lookout for more work. I feel guilty about being outside working, weeding, planting or pruning because until I’ve secured some more income. I can’t relax really.

I think I’m particularly sensitive and having a bit of an emotional wobble about it because my grandmother went into hospital just before the weekend. She’s got two or more serious infections - as in, her blood has been poisoned - and she was really quite critical at the weekend. She’s improved thank God, but she’s not out of the woods yet and there is the distinct possibility that the infections could make a comeback, stronger and more potent than ever. We have a very closeknit family, and Nannie is the ultimate matriarch, so you can imagine the stress that it’s been under. What’s even more stressful is trying to support my Mum, but not feeling like I can take the stress or the emotional upheaval away from her. So I just try and help in other ways. Nannie always wanted me to make a success of my ‘talents’, so she knew about this job. Now I feel like I have to try even harder to get something decent, because the stability it would bring to me, an the knock-on effect it would have on Rich and the rest of my family would be tremendous. You see, Rich and I live in my childhood home that still belongs to my parents, and if we could even afford to take out half a mortgage on the place, it would mean a lot to us to get our foot on the property ladder, but also an awful lot in releasing something for my parents. They’ve sacrificed a lot for me, they’ve given me so much and I just don’t feel that I’ve even begun to repay them or taken enough responsibility for myself. I’m 25 and effectively still living in a family home. I feel like a burden.

But on the other hand, Mum tells me how proud she is of my ‘ethics’ and the way I’m trying to live. She loves the fact that I’ve rescued hens, that I grow my own veg (inherited from her and my maternal Pappa), and love cooking. But I feel like if I’m going to stand a chance of realising my dream, I need to secure something that will bring stability. The past few days have really brought it home. I’m trying to get more work, I’ve had some very useful tips from readers of this blog, offers of guidance and pointing me in the right direction - to those of you that have done this, I just wish you knew how much it means to have people guiding me and mentoring me through it. I do take on board your thoughts and suggestions, and am acting on them.

Gosh, I’ve been a bit lacklustre with the ‘proper’ veg posts lately haven’t I. I’ll attempt to do a quick round up:

My sweetcorn are growing. All 2 cobs, but at least it’s a start. I checked out when to harvest and apparently it’s when the tassles turn brown.

All of our plums have now either become wasp-bitten windfall, or fallen prey to the greedy beaks of Maureen and Yoko the hens

All but one of my kilaxy cabbages have been savaged by cabbage white caterpillars.

My Autumn King (Improved) carrots are ready for harvesting, and are BIG and absolutely delicious. They’re a wee bit knobbly on the outside, but absolutely fine when peeled. Sweet and crisp, perfect in soups, stews and with roast potatoes. If you want to try growing carrots, get yourself some of these babies. The foliage has also served as free rabbit food, saving us quite a lot on pet food bills. I think I might at least triple my output next year - I eat carrots like they’re going out of fashion, they’re useful for buns (and sometimes hens!) and they’re one of the few vegetables that are actually better for you when cooked than raw.

I’m getting through our supply of Red Baron, Hercules and Giant Stuttgarter onions at a rate of knots. All are delicious, potent and crisp and

I’m also using our thermidrome Garlic regularly. I dried a few of the bulbs because I didn’t want them to rot in the ground. And although the garlic ‘casing’ around the cloves hardened quite a lot, the cloves inside are still moist and taste fresh.

I planted some leftover Maris Piper seed potatoes in one of my plots. They’re yielding pretty smallish results compared to the allotment, but still useable.

Mum and I are just waiting for the leeks to grow on a bit before we plant them in at the allotment. In fact, the allotment is looking sparse as we’ve harvested the produce we put in this year. It’s a fight against the weeds, and given everything that’s going on with Nannie, plus my guilt-sodden drive to get more work, it’s been neglected a bit. I’m hoping to get up there in the next couple of days. The plan is to weed like mad, then we’re going to do a little landscaping and do something a bit different to your generic square or rectangular beds. We’ve got two large rhubarb crowns growing (more rhubarb crumble this weekend I feel) and we left the asparagus to go to seed, but apart from that, everything is either harvested or finished. The raspberry canes are going to need cutting right back soon, too. The fruiting was OK this year, but I didn’t cut them back early enough in the year, so will definitely make more of a concerted effort later on.

Here at the Smallest Smallholding, it would be easier to list what jobs don’t need doing. But soon it’ll be that time of year when I can just gut everything, ready for a fresh, more productive start to next year. Got to keep soldiering on…