Blue skies and thoughts on a Saturday morning

I’m sitting here on a bright, Saturday morning wondering what to do with my day. Well, I know that the first portion is going to be taken up finishing all my accounting bits and bobs. Dull, humdrum work but somebody (i.e. me) has to do it…

I want to get outside and get some fresh air. For four days this week I have been both baked to death and frozen in my office, where the windows don’t open and the air is dry. It’s so unnatural that I fear I am turning into an office zombie. One look at myself in the mirror this morning almost confirmed it; I look pale, tired, blotchy and just… unhealthy. I eat well - I get enough iron, vitamins, minerals and so on, but I think I may have also inherited my Dad’s side of the family’s pale gene. I need some sunshine. I need to look and *feel* like I’m living!

Tuesday evening was marvellous. The one saving grace about my commute to and from work is that I get to drive through some beautiful countryside before I hit the M1. On the way home, I amble down a winding country road past a free range pig and chicken farm, a tree plantation, an orchard and a vineyard. I love to just take it in as I drive through, but on Tuesday night it was a whole different experience.

For one, I actually left work in daylight. It was as if something had shifted in the season, like there was a definite signpost to spring. But it was the sunset that did it - throwing a beautifully warm and mellow orange light across everything it touched.  I drove through my country lanes and just kind of breathed it all in, suddenly I felt as though spring was blearily lifting its head a bit and sleepily peering through one eye at me, just letting me know that it was on its way, but maybe not quite yet. And as I drove down my little road towards my house, the faces of all the railway cottages were basked in this amazing orange-pink radiance. It was so calming. And then I was home.

But of course, the next few days we were back to dull, dreary greyness. I don’t know whether the weather is particularly adept at reflecting my mood, or whether it just downright influences it. But I’m bored. So bored. And I’m starting to feel a bit trapped by my whole situation. But that may be changing. No, I don’t think I’ll be moving for a while - the thought both thrills me and scares me witless - but there may be changes afoot. I can’t say more than that right now.

Part of what makes me feel a bit more energised is seeing that things are changing, that I’m not stuck in a rut. I have a freelance-free weekend, which means that I’m free to do what I please. So, back to what I’m planning to do on this bright, cold, blue-skyed Saturday. I could finish stripping the wallpaper from the dining room. I could don a hat and gloves and weed my veg patches. I could nip over to the garden centre and get some bulbs for my mini woodland garden. I could start clearing out my greenhouse. I could take my Mum out to lunch.

Do you know what? I think I’ll do it all! Just because I can. I love having time to myself. I love finding ways to fill it.

Weight: 11stones 4lbs

Tags: bored, busy, saturday, sunset