Who says British wildlife isn’t exotic? Here at the Smallest Smallholding, our little patch is host to a plethora of wildlife in an array of colour. Even after this dreadful summer we’ve had, they’re still arriving in force.

Our buddleias, sedum, dahlias, lavender and cosmos are providing countless butterflies and bees with sweet nectar.

We’ve also got a few frogs and toads that drop in every few days. I found this guy poking his head out of our bird-bath/redundant water feature and looking very cosy indeed. Looks like Autumn is going to be a hive of activity here.

It’s tough at the moment, with everything that’s going on with Nannie. She’s not getting better; I’m stopping myself from looking too far into the future in my mind. I’m very tired yet my mind just whirs constantly, I have a shedload of work to last me half a lifetime, and it feels like I’m just treading water and waiting.

But each evening I’m trying to remind myself of all the things that make me feel safe and comfortable. I try and immerse myself in something so I don’t feel so sad or overwhelmed. Whether it’s reading Harry Potter for the umpteenth time or doing some work, I find that my evenings *have* to be busy. Otherwise I just mope about and dwell on things, and I just can’t do that to myself at the moment.

We don’t have the central heating on at the moment, but the weatherman says to expect a cool October. I’ve been putting a fire on each evening just in one room, and we tend to stay here throughout the evening. For me, open fires tend to evoke a sense of security and cosiness. I can stretch out with the cat infront of the fire, wrapped in my chenille throw or my duvet and feel as trouble-free as I did when I was a child.

I’m also coming to the end of my carrot crop. I’ve been really pleased this year, although this last row has been host to a few forked wiggly wonders. The last few weeks have seen me neglecting the Smallest Smallholding and the allotment - I have no idea how the leeks that Mum and I put in are doing. Hopefully the rain tomorrow will help them along. I haven’t been able to allot any brain space to planning ahead for planting in the season. In fact, I’ve forgotten to check on the kale plugs I shoved in the ground a few weeks ago. I hope they’re still there and haven’t been ravaged by slugs. Got to make a mental note to check on them tomorrow. That’s if I remember to make a mental note…

I think I’ve left it too late to be able to grow and harvest anything over winter - the veg plots are almost completely bare so I think my best bet is to just sow a load of green manure and try to really make the best of the soil for the spring. As I’ve said a million times before, the soil here is so sandy and well-draining that it tends to be a bit poor on the nutrition side of things. So I guess that’s my winter plan, unless there’s anything I can put in before now? I think I have plenty of time to get some garlic in before C*******s (not allowed to mention the ‘C’ word until at least after Bonfire Night).

On the plus side, Maureen and Yoko are fairly sprightly. I think Yoko is doing another mini-moult. She tends to be quite chipper when it happens, probably because she stops internal laying. It’s good to see her in a good mood and joining in. We’re even thinking of getting a couple more girls.

I’ve been wanting to do something useful in the Smallest Smallholding for weeks and just feel totally behind with everything. This year seems to have passed me by - I’m amazed I’ve managed to produce a crop of anything. In between visiting Nannie regularly in hospital and working (of which I have a lot to contend with at the moment), I don’t really have a lot of ’spare’ time. And any ’spare’ time I have, I bury my head in a book (usually Potter) for a bit of escapism.

But the thing I wanted to write about was my carrots. Or, to be more precise, my bendy carrots. You see, I can’t understand why supermarket carrots stay relatively crisp and firm in my fridge, yet when I pull my own homegrown (superior tasting and very large, I might add) equivalent, within hours they’re a bit rubbery in texture. .

I know about storing carrots in sand - but I thought this was for long term storage? What am I doing wrong that the supermarkets are getting right? I just don’t understand it. It’s a bit, orange, carroty mystery. Answers on a postcard, or in the comments section below.

Blimey. What a rollercoaster ride it’s been. Last week I was so tired I could fall asleep standing up, thinking the worst, feeling really bad. Then Nannie decides she’s “turned a corner”. She’s talking normally, she’s eating, she’s gaining some of herself back. I don’t know what this means overall…it’s really thrown us all. We don’t know what to expect, whether it’s going to make a difference. Just taking it a day at a time really.

Yesterday was the first day of relative normality that I’ve felt in while.  I spent an afternoon in the garden with the cats, bunbuns and chickens with the glowing early Autumn sun sweeping across the sky. I dug some carrots, cooked a roast, put on a fire and relaxed into the evening. Rich lounged about reading a paper and it just felt…like I haven’t felt in a long, long time. I woke up this morning and again, the sun was shining again.

My work is picking up a bit, which is nice. I’m still in the throes of developing a couple of websites - watch this space. Today it’s back to the grind though. Keeping busy helps.