On Sunday I was en route to my sister’s house. She’s just rehomed a little kitten called Alfie, and I was desperate to see it. I love cats - I’ve always thought this a bit strange, being a vegetarian. But kittens make me go incredibly stupid. So I got up early, jumped in the car (sis lives about 8 or 10 miles away) and drove down to the end of the road. I had neglected to get myself any breakfast, so ashamedly I then jumped out of the car, nipped in the corner shop to get something to snack on, and then plopped myself back in the driving seat. I sat there, and turned the key. The engine turned over, but refused to start. Every time I turned the key it said “no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no”. I tried the battery booster thingy with the crocodile clips (makes me feel like A Woman In Control when I have the car bonnet up and I look like I know what I’m doing), but still nothing. I trapsed back to the house, got Rich to come and have a look. His verdict was that something had give up the ghost. He didn’t know what though.

So we have been without any personal motor transport for a few days. I did get over to see Alfie - I hitched a ride with my Mum and I managed to spend a couple of hours sending him loopy with a bit of string and a ball. But being without a car has made me think about just how much we use our car, and sometimes just how damned lazy we are. Our local supermarket is a Tesco (have a Waitrose near by too, pristine white aisles, more organic and for do-gooders, Tesco is a bit skanky and mean), and it’s only about a 6 or 7 minute walk from the Smallest Smallholding. We’re tucked away in an old road from the days of yore, when our town was a village wiith a train staton and nice little shops. Then Tesco came to town and it all went to pot.

Anyhow, I digress from my Tesco bashing. I shop there - we try to do the best we can if we’re not going to Waitrose (lesser of two evils?), and usually we drive. I have back problems and I physically can’t carry two or three of those re-useable bags full of shopping home. But we decided to do a basic shop, get all the things we needed - milk, bread, carrots (organic), catfood, tin of chickpeas, passata, olive oil etc. and then maybe return in a few days if we were running low on anything else. Everytime I put something heavy in the trolley (e.g. buy one get one free on desiree potatoes - was I being ethical? was it a good deal for the farmer???), Rich would declare that it was too heavy to carry. I would fob him off and he told me that I could carry them, if I wanted them in the trolley. Fine, I said. So we bought our goods, loaded up our two reusable bags to the brim, and off we set for home.

I tried slinging the bag over my shoulder, carry it from underneath, swapped hands, and tried offloading it all on Rich. I think my arms must have extended about 2 inches from the weight. I ended up carrying the shopping bag on my head, it seems the most comfortable way to do it. Luckily it was under the cover of darkness so I don’t think too many people saw.

My point is, is that Rich and I, with a bit of planning and foresight, could walk to do our shopping. We just don’t. We’re typically lazy and often jump in the car without thinking about it. Of course, you turn right outside of the front door of the smallest smallholding, walk for 10 mins and you’re in the middle of the countryside. That’s when you need a car. The bus services around here don’t ‘do’ rural. We’re lucky in that we can go in one direction and we’re in the depths of rural England. 5 mins in the other direction and we’re in the middle of TescoTown, with a train station directly into the heart of London. Milton Keynes is 25 mins away. Cambridge is a 45mins to an hour bus ride. The car makes it much easier, but I’m trying to stay local. But it’s hard when my local town has been drained of interesting features and is devoid of all sense of community and usefulness, save for a couple of banks, train station, a DIY store that has been here since time began, and yes - Tesco.

I’ve been running a chat forum for a few months now. It’s basically a place where like-minded souls can chat about many subjects including green living, foodie subjects and recipes, rural issues and politics, smallholding, sustainable living and allotmenteering, arts, crafts and traditional trade skills, health & wellbeing, or just partake in a bit of random general chat! We currently have members from around the globe, as far reaching as Germany, South Africa and Australia, as well as a core of English folk.

The hope is that I’ll be able to expand the website to include a proper online magazine in addition to the forum. There will be articles covering subjects such as rural crafts, ethical shopping, seasonal produce, recipes, wildlife, hen and bee keeping as well as gardening tips and ways and means to live the good life. Some members have already volunteered their services to write articles on their specialisms, and I’m always on the lookout for interesting contributions. I’m also currently compiling a (free) business listing for anyone that has a service to offer or products to sell, and is a member of the website, or related to a member of the forum. The hope is that this will grow in time to provide a really comprehensive list that will prove useful for both country and town dweller.

The forum is called Rural Muse and can be found at www.ruralmuse.co.uk

Just a quick update - Pattie is much MUCH better today. Back to her old self I would say. It seems I may have jumped the gun a bit and mistaken her fluidy crop for an empty crop, or crop full of bio live yoghurt! I think the yoghurt may have helped, perhaps she just had a bit of an upset tummy. Who knows - this is the thing with keeping hens, the diagnosis can only be done if the ailment is obvious (e.g. a wound or bumblefoot). Otherwise it’s a case of observation, antibiotics, antifungals, tests, cultures and all sorts. Well, it has been for us anyway. But my hens are not working birds, they’re my pets and despite costing me 50p each, I would invest so much money into them if need be. I think Yoko’s vet bills amounted to over £250, but that was partly because we changed vet twice because we needed to find someone who was well-versed in all things avian! Bit more difficult than you might expect.

They’re enjoying the sunshine at the moment, as am I. It feels just so good to be out there with the sun radiating on your skin. Sometimes I don’t realise how much I miss it in the winter. I’ve noticed that the blackbirds are starting to get a bit fruity with each other - the Smallest Smallholding was resident to about 7 or 8 pairs last year. Despite the fact that there are so many, they tend to hang around the place and get on quite well considering they’re supposed to be competing. I expect we’ll soon have the starlings starting to build their nests in the broken wooden soffit too. That means loud wake up calls at dawn for us for a fair few months, as it’s right next to our bedroom window.

So the sun is out, and all around buds are budding, shoots are shooting and I’m starting to think I should have already started sowing for this year’s Smallest Smallholding crops. Tomorrow I’m going to see my sister’s new kitten - her first ‘family’ cat (we have 4 and are more than well versed by now), can’t wait! It’s been years since I’ve held a kitten. I also remember when there was a kitten ’season’ - not so much the case now with the milder winters. Another side effect of global warming perhaps?

Poor little Pattie is now taking her turn to be ill. Last year Yoko was diagnosed with sterile EYP, which is currently in check and she’s just as good as she ever was, and Cynthia had a couple of bouts of sour crop which seemed to have been sorted out with a course of nystatin (an anti-fungal medicine) each time. Pattie has been very quiet for the past three of four days, staying with the group but hanging back. She’s been standing with her neck retracted into her body, so she looks like a plump rugby ball with a little head on top.

I’ve had a feel of her crop and it felt quite fluidy tonight. She’s not really eating much, although she’s had a go at the layers mash and had a fair amount of the bio live yoghurt I put out for her. When they eat it, they end up with what I call ‘milk moustaches’ - so very cute. She hasn’t laid in a few days either…so I think for now we’ll just keep observing her, see if the bio live yoghrt will help and pray that she lays a decent egg.  If nothing changes, she’ll have to either go to the vet, or the vet will get yet another call from us asking for a prescription for yet more nystatin first.

I wonder what’s causing it - the only thing I can think of is that when they scale the compost heap and dig around (and always look a bit guilty when they’re caught), there’s something in there that’s causing problems. We’re hoping to fence it off properly soon so that they can’t get up onto it. I guess Compost Heap Construction has got to come further up the To Do List now. Poor Pattie, I really hope she gets better soon.

Already we have buds and shoots appearing - just. On the rare milder days there is the distinct smell of spring wafting on the breeze - that barely there but palpable earthy, warm tone. I think it’s time to start sowing some seeds.

One of my local garden centres has a deal on at the moment - all Suttons and Thompson and Morgan seeds are half price until the end of January. So it’s pretty safe to say that I’ve already done two trips and saved an absolute fortune on my fruit and veg for this year. This great offer has become even more welcome in light of a phonecall I received a couple of days go. In addition to the plots here at the Smallest Smallholding, I’ve finally managed to land myself a 5 pole allotment plot too!

My family and I tend to share out our surplus vegetables amongst each other, as well as friends of friends. Last year I earned some very welcome extra pennies and pounds from selling surplus Charlotte early potatoes to the villagers of a family friend. The only thing is, with the ‘staple’ vegetables that I like to grow – onions, potatoes and carrots – it doesn’t leave enough space for the other ‘fancier’ veg at the Smallest Smallholding. So the plan is to use the allotment for the slow-growing staple veg, and the smallest smallholding plots for the quicker veg that I need to keep an eye on, and leaving the tried-and-tested varieties and staples to the allotment. Last year Mum had some successes and failures on her smaller plots in her back garden, so I’ve told her that she can have a sizeable stake of my plot too. Mum knows her onions (and other veg) when it comes to vegetable and flower growing, so as well as proving to be a nice way to keep something in the family, I figured having an old (although at 49, Mum will claim ‘less of the old please!’) hand would also be advantageous.

So with my trusty garden planner, I am setting about planning out what goes where, after which vegetable, crop rotations, and all that jazz. I am armed with a plethora of bulging seed packets, of which some are veritable successes from last year and some of which are completely unchartered terrority. To start with I shall be sowing my broad beans (first time), Musselburgh and Porvite leeks, Primo cabbage and even the Black Enorma Aubergines. Next month we’re looking at more leeks (trying to keep as continuous crop as possible throughout the year), more cabbages, Gladiator Parsnips and even some super early carrots going in, if the ground is warm enough. We’ll just have to wait and see, I have the feeling in my bones that there’s some really cold weather still to be had, so I might just hold off for a little longer.

In any case, the hens have been enjoying the temporary break in the rainy weather. After the recent glut of miserable, persistently pissy days, they gathered by the warm sunbaked fence and basked and preened all afternoon. Yoko is still in the throes of her moult (and regrowth), and her sterile EYP seems to be on hold for now, which is great. The egg laying seems to be at its lowest rate yet, despite the very slight increase in daylight hours, but that’s ok. It just means I’ll be baking less cakes…

I’m the worst sort of vegetarian - a fussy one. I could be possibly the only vegetarian on the planet than doesn’t really like salad. I could eat it if it’s with something - say a beanburger in a bun - but a bowful of salad is one of my worst nightmares. And funnily enough, I don’t really like eggs either. The ones our hens lay get used by Rich, or sold for £1 a half dozen to friends, family and from the garden gate. Any eggs that I eat go into cakes and bakes - try a sponge with 3 large fresh free range eggs and really taste the difference. We’re only getting a couple a day at the moment - Cynthia is probably waiting for a turn in the weather and Yoko with her sterile EYP is a non-goer. She’s actually better at the moment, her swelling has gone down and she’s running around again, despite looking a bit raggedy as she’s in the throes of her moult.

You may be thinking “well what on earth does she eat then”, and I would reply, plenty! I’m expanding my horizons you see, trying to plant out new vegetables this year to add to my cullinary experiences. So far I’ve invested in some pink fir apple seed potatoes, as well as trying aubergines, a variety of squashes/curcubits and broad beans. I’ve got completely stuck in a rut with my cooking, and although I often manage to get my 5 fruit and veg a day, typically they’re the same 5 fruit and veg. Oh of course I’ll be growing potatoes, onions and carrots this year, I’ll probably have them growing out my ears by the end of the season. I wouldn’t be without them, they’re the basis of any good meal. But I’m taking Carol Klein’s advice from her Grow Your Own Veg book - try and grow things that are hard to find or expensive in the supermarket. One thing I’ve got to look into is some fruit cages this year - both Rich and I are ardent fans of berries in all shapes, colours and sizes.

I’m also trying to eat seasonally, the plan being that one day I’ll just have to walk out the back door and pull up or pick dinner. Last night I made one of my favourite simple seasonal dinners, my Simple Leek Soup:

Simple Leek Soup (for 2 people):

2 or 3 medium potatoes (chopped)

3 or 4 leeks (chopped)

1 large onion (chopped)

Olive oil

Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper

Cayenne Pepper

Veg stock (preferably marigold)

Directions: Put some olive oil in a pan, add the potatoes, leeks and onions and sweat down for about 10 mins on a very low heat. Then add about 2 pints of water and veg stock (1 heaped dessert spoon of stock per pint) and stir. Add a dash of ground cayenne pepper or chilli powder (schwarz is probably best), sprinkle of salt and plenty of ground cracked black pepper. Bring to the boil and then leave to simmer on a low heat for about 50mins, stirring occasionally. Take off heat, and then whizz up with a hand blender to a smoother consistency. Serve immediately with crusty bread, or leave to cool and store in fridge overnight and reheat the next day for slightly deeper flavour. Easy and damned tasty!

I’ve been watching the series of Food Fight programmes broadcast this week by Channel 4, relating to the plight of the humble chicken within Britain’s farming industry. As anyone who reads my blog knows, I own 4 beautiful ex-battery hens, all of which having never seen another ‘naturalised’ hen, quite quickly began displaying their natural behaviours within days and weeks of being released from their battery houses. These natural behaviours include dust bathing and scratching, as well as using a nestbox and perching at night. Granted, they had a little trouble learning to perch, but they only had to get the hang of it once before it became the norm for them. So anyone that says that battery, or indeed broiler hens don’t know any different, well here’s two big and very rude fingers up to you. They DO know differently.

I’ve also read a few comments where people believe the barren battery cage is going to be banned, come 2010. Again, this is not a truth as such. They will still be in cages, just provided with a metal perch (barely an inch or so off the ground), and a rubber flap with astroturf to ‘nest’ in to lay. Some may think this better, indeed it is, but is it really enough to justify the whole production and manufacturing process to meet the needs of Britain’s consumers? Let’s face it, in the past 30 or 40 years many have got used to getting what they want, at low prices, and when they want. The modern way of living - yes it’s handy, but is it, in the end, really worth it? There are some that would say yes. After all, on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, a rather loutish pub-going individual who wouldn’t spend less than the price of a pint delcare that a “fucking twatty chicken” wasn’t worth it. I doubt he’s been within 20ft of a real chicken. They’re not as worthless and stupid as people think.

I’ve also heard the poverty and “tight budget” argument used time and time again. This is not necessarily a valid argument. I posted this on the Guardian website,

“Many believe that this is all that they will be able to afford on their incomes, and that the way to solve poverty is for the government to subsidise and the supermarkets to provide artificially cheap, low quality food. But people must look at the bigger picture here - this gives the Government justification in keeping incomes and benefits lower.

Each year in preparation for the Budget the Chancellor uses a model ’shopping basket’ of basic food items, and now includes a few luxuries. This forms the basis of how taxes should be increased, as well as helping to determine levels of welfare benefits and public sector increases in salary. So obviously the lower the price of goods being chosen by the average consumer, as used in the ‘model basket’, the poorer people are allowed to be. I don’t think this sort of direct impact is taken into consideration by many consumers and those that argue that their earnings won’t allow the price difference of birds (and all animals) produced with better welfare standards…”

So there you have it. And, yes, I know that there are other animals suffering as a result of Britain’s intensive farming industries and the hungry consumer. But they’ve got to start somewhere, and I applaud them for it. I know from reading other blogs that there are so many of us that have been trying to turn the tide for years, so hopefully now something will begin to change for the better. All you have to do is save a few pennies, support British farmers to make the change, and consider - do you really need to buy meat so often, can you make it last? Of course, I probably am preaching to the converted here!

Well, 2008 was ushered in a few days ago - not that I noticed, I was too poorly and laid up all over Christmas, my birthday (new year’s eve) and the new year to really notice. But luckily for me I got some great presents which have cajoled me into getting some serious plans together for my vegetable garden. I’ve already started extending the plots, at the mo there’s a third much larger plot having the grass killed off. Actually, the grass isn’t being killed off because the mulch I put down allows air to circulate. So I’ve got to try and put some other matter or cardboard down to encourage the worms to come…the idea being that when I come to dig in a month or so, it’ll be much less of a struggle. 25 I may be, but I have the family back problems and digging is miserable work for me.

Amongst some of my presents, I was given two pairs of secateurs (technically one pair calls itself ‘clippers’) - one for small delicate jobs like flowers and vegetables, and one very sturdy pair with a 10 year guarantee that are designed for chopping through rather large shrub wood and the like. Both are great, as I tried them both on the Christmas tree. Once I’d de-baulbaled and de-tinsled, I cut it right down to the innermost stump, effectively shredding the branches with my secateurs. It took me about an hour and half and a blister but I didn’t mind. Job well done I say.

The other useful present I got was a garden planner journal from my aunt and step-uncle. It’s a small book-come-filofax-type affair, with a special pouch for keeping clippings and seed packets. With loads of graph paper I can actually plan ahead this year and work out crop rotation properly, making the most out of the nutrients and space. Speaking of nutrients, we are off to some stables this week to collect a few bags of well-rotted manure. So this weekend I’m guessing I shall be muck-spreading, by my word, do my plots need it.

I was also given a mightly useful tent cloche by Rich’s parents - great news as it means I can now warm up the soil and get my parsnip seeds out soon. It’ll also be *really* useful if I decide to grow any brassicas or cabbages this year - the hens have a penchant for anything leafy and green and with the amount of doves and woodpigeons that visit the plots, I’ll be sure to need some extra protection!

Last of the garden-related presents were a £5 gift voucher (we did a £5 Christmas this year for everyone, worked out really well) for the garden centre, and some red and white onion sets. The red onions are Red Baron, and I can’t quite remember the name of the white ones as I speak, but my cousin grew them and assures me they’re great. I will also be making sure I get some Hercules onion sets in too, I grew them last year and have never tasted any onion as good. My cousin Deborah and I will be going on a seed-buying spree soon, I find it’s one of the most exciting times of year, planning the growing season ahead.

Lately we’ve had some beautiful hard frosts - as ever I’ve been feeding the birds constantly and so happy that the blackbirds are finding extra food in the shape of berries on the pyracantha bushes. It’s nice feeding them out of feeders, but there’s something extra special about them finding food from more natural sources like the pyracantha, sunflowers and thistles. A few days ago mum had a small flock of goldfinches feeding from the veberna bonariensis heads - I’m looking forward to that as I sowed my verbena bonariensis seeds back in the autumn (plus, the bees and butterflies love them in the summer). Just hope the cats don’t start getting ideas…have to think up a plan to keep them away…

On the hen front, Yoko is starting to puff away a bit more, so we’re thinking we might take her to have some of the fluid drained off. She seems to find it harder on the cold mornings, but her puffing clams down somewhat when she goes in the greenhouse after we preheat it for them in the mornings. Draining is only a temporary solution, but as she’s still scratching, feeding, bossing, and being generally chicken-y and happy, we’re hoping she has quite a lot of life left in her. Her cheeks are starting to billow more and more, so I think the vet visit is fairly imminent for this minor surgery. She’s always very weel behaved so we’re hoping that she won’t need sedating or anaesthetic. As things stand she’s still head of the tribe and seems to be happy, although slower these days - but then sometimes I get the impression she just can’t be bothered to run as she knows she’ll always get the best food, being head honcho. Cynthia had another bought of sour crop, but was treated with nystatin and baytril again and has made a full recovery again. They’re all having avipro at the moment to help bolster their good bacteria so we’re hoping she won’t have another episode. She’s grown so many more feathers, I can’t quite believe it. They just keep growing and she’s got more and more fluffy, such a beautiful silky brown little hen! I’ve got a pic so people can see the difference from a couple of months ago - it’s amazing. Maureen has stopped laying for now, but still eats like a horse. Pattie is the only one left laying during this cold weather, but it’s starting to be almost every other day now instead of daily. I think it’d do them well to take a break anyhow. I just wish Yoko would naturally stop laying at all - just have to see how she goes.