Usually I would be moaning my socks off about the rain, the dreaded rain! But it’s actually a welcome relief, things were starting to look a bit parched, and I imagine my water butt is brimming again. Of course, it also saves me all the watering of an evening too. Not such a bad chore, but it’s good to have ‘free time’ to do other ’stuff’.

I haven’t really been that active at the Smallest Smallholding lately. Lots of work and stress in other areas (praying for funds to clear, only to be bitterly disappointed that I am going to have to wait yet another weekend with not a penny to my name), as well as trying to forge ahead on the allotment. We are currently undertaking the UTTERLY BORING task of removing all the twitch in the ‘upper section’ of the allotment by fork and hand. It’s going in a metal bin to be burnt later on. I also cleared around the raspberries (still haven’t worked out whether they’re summer or autumn fruiting), and am currently sporting a slightly infected splinter wound, thanks to our ancient wooden-handled rake.

I managed to get at least 50 more sets of my Hercules onions in here at the Smallest Smallholding though, only 50 more to find space for. Although, if I’m honest with myself, I am really pushing it a bit now. Last year I got through 50 sets in around 3-4 weeks, and by August I had cleared them out. This year I hope at least my inability to plant anything on time has translated into a sort of successive planting plan, where I’ll be able to continually harvest. That’s the plan anyway. It really depends on the weather this year - I’m relying on another run of very mild weather to get everything going. And I’m also relying on Lilla, one of my cats, to NOT go under my fleece tunnels and dig up the onion sets. Or roll in my carrot seedlings and crush and/or displace them. I say rely - unfortunately Lilla is a law unto herself and despite my protests, she does as she pleases.

I still haven’t planted any sweetcorn, and let’s face it - I could be setting myself up for a big failure if I tried to do it now. Bunnies are chomping their way through sweetcorn like it’s going out of fashion, so I may have to resort to (shock! horror!) buying in some plugs to get a bit of a head start. I’m a bit funny about buying in plants from supermarkets or garden centres. I just feel like I haven’t had enough control over them, I can’t really say “look what I grew!” because I wasn’t responsible for the whole process. But then again, I bought my ‘leeklings’ from a WI stall last year, and leeched off someone else’s handywork and claimed those leeks as my own. It feels a bit different though, taking something from another gardener rather than a commercial outlet. Maybe I’m just far too puritan about these things.

My aubergines are going very well and need repotting now. Once the weather has improved a bit I’ll put a few of them outside the door to sell, along with my tomatoes. My tomatoes are gaining height as each day passes, quite spectacularly. I still can’t get over the fact that not long ago, they were tiny dormant seeds, and now look at them! This year I’ve been so much more regimented with my watering. I am a bad earth mother sometimes, but this year I am willing to face up to my failures and try to improve. My tomatoes suffered as a result of my haphazard watering schedule last year. We ended up with black rot under a lot of the fruit. And I had too many plants to contend with, so we ended up chucking lots of overripe tomatoes to the hens. I suppose that’s not such a bad thing, they gobbled the toms up with glee. Free food, and all that.

Oh, and the asparagus that are going to seed are looking glorious.

I am knackered. My sleep is going haywire and it’s been taking it’s toll on me.

And this post is a bit of a show and tell!

Yesterday though, I actually *finally* managed to get down to the allotment. Thankfully Mum had been down two or three times since my last visit, and it wasn’t in too bad shape. I weeded around the onions (because as all onion growers know, it’s vital to keep them weed free), hoed between the potatoes and started reeling in the blankets of chickweed that were threatening military dictatorship of my plot.

I was met by another nice surprise - we have a raised asparagus plot on our allotment. We snapped a bit off but it was tough as old boots and some stalks had already gone to seed, but nice to know for future reference. I already have a tonne of asparagus growing here at the Smallest Smallholding in the flower borders, but I let it go to seed because it’s so striking. Speaking of going to seed, the rhubarb had grown about 3ft since I last saw it, and was starting to flower. I pulled out the biggest leaves from the base in the vague hope that I’ll still be able to harvest some of the more tender rhubarb in the coming weeks…

All is going ok here. I’m still horribly behind with my sowing - sweet peas are so late now that they’re going to have to be sowed directly and I’ll hope for the best. I’ve saved some old squash bottles and cut them in half to make mini cloches, to try and protect the growing sweet peas from the clutches of enquiring hen beaks. The broad beans are coming along nicely though, despite also being about three months late. Cabbages - Primo and Kilaxy - are both coming along nice and despite being left outside in their seed modules have evaded the beady eyes of the woodpigeons.

My super duper early Tendersnax carrots are actually coming along quite nicely in the pots. I’ve been pricking them out two or three times a week, but I’m still sure I’ll only end up with enough carrots for about 2 meals. My directly sown early Nantes (I think? Still yet to put in labels) carrots are pushing through. They’ll be a bit of an experiment this year as I haven’t put ANYTHING of nutritional value into the soil yet. I might try and feed them as I go along…bit cobbled together but that’s just the way I seem to work at the moment. The tomatoes are going great guns in the conservatory, aubergines are coming along VERY nicely, and my other mystery seed trays are doing ok. The lavender and rosemary cuttings have been a bit of a disaster though, I think I neglected to water them enough and now I only have one surviving specimen of each.

The rabbits - or The BunBuns as they will be know as from hereonin - are getting through a bag of curly kale every day. So I think it’s time that I hunted down a packet of seeds and started to try and opt for the cheaper option of growing my own. Thing is, it probably won’t be ready until late autumn/winter. Oh well. There’s always next year. Trouble is, I am starting to run out of space, so I’m going to have to dig out yet another veg plot here. I haven’t even got around to finishing digging the other one yet. Hence why no parsnips or sweetcorn in the ground. Oh heck - HELLLLLLLLLLLLLP! My uncle has a turf spade which may help my plight, but it’s the digging out of the rubble (I still shake my fists at the builder that thought it was a good idea to bury it) that takes an age.

So on the agenda for next week (and yes, it’s late, I’m working at Lucy speed):

• Finally sow sweet peas direct (wildlife magnets)
• Sow sweetcorn in trays
• Sow butternut squashes (might try grow bags even though I intensely dislike them)
• Think about growing parsnips (and actually sow if have space)
• Get the last of the blasted potatoes in at SS (and enjoy very late crops of early and maincrop potatoes)
• Put in a few remaining onion sets (my version of successive sowing/growing)
• Get down the allotment and Weed for Britain

I think I need a new motto - “Better Late Than Never”

Rich and I went to a wedding on Saturday, not too far from the Suffolk coast. We decided to make a quick detour to the beach en route home (which involved going in the wrong direction, but nevermind), and as I was driving, I let Rich navigate and choose which beach we would visit. It was only going to be a half hour stop or so.

“Well there’s no yellow beach bit at Aldeburgh, but it looks like Leiston is on a beach. It’s got a visitor’s centre too, let’s go there”.

So off we pootled for 25 minutes or so. “Where’s the beach?!” Rich kept exclaiming.

A big dome loomed in the distance, and as we drew closer through the small town of Leiston, the sandbanks came into view and the distinct sea breeze wafted in through the car windows.

“What is that?!” Rich exclaimed, as the dome and brick fortress loomed over us.

“Rich, you’ve only gone and navigated us to the bloody Sizewell B nuclear power station. Well done,” I said.

I’ve known about Sizewell B for years, having visited Dunwich and Walberswick further up the coast since I was a child. We thought Dunwich - despite it’s award-winning chip shop - was a bit too far as a detour. Now I wish we’d gone there instead.

The beach was pebbly, the view was…well, tainted. Rich loved the strange oil-rig type structures around the shoreline, obviously something to do with pumping the sea water into Sizewell B.

Apparently the warm (not radioactive!) water that is pumped back out into the sea from the power station attracts lots of jellyfish to the area. So swimming around there really isn’t much of an option either.

We took pictures, marvelled at Sizewell B’s sheer presence, pondered nuclear power, and turned on our heels. I wanted to get home - Rich wanted a cup of tea. I allowed him a takeaway cup of tea (from the ‘visitor’s centre - aka slightly tatty beach side/nuclear power station side cafe), most of which he spilt on his lap as we drove through the wiggly windy lanes of coastal Suffolk. Well, he had to pay a penance, didn’t he?

More pissy weather this week then. Hasn’t exactly been conducive to a lot of work. I haven’t been near the allotment for ages and I fear that Mr Mole has wreaked havoc with my onion sets and potatoes. Oh well, I never was really that bothered about planting in straight lines.

Urgh, the chicken saga continues. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m actually spinning around on some level of Dante’s spiral of Hell and damnation when it comes to grappling with sick hens. Oh of course, I’m being melodramatic. They seem ‘ok’ today - Yoko is in better spirits, having had a really good day on Monday, and then a couple of crap days. I think the breakthrough in sunshine today is helping. She has one or two days of baytril left, then we have to assess. She could be going in for a bit of a risky procedure to try and drain off some of the egg yolk in her abdomen.

Pattie laid a tiny ‘wind egg’ (a bit of egg white, aka albumen, no yolk laid in a shell about the size of a large grape) three days ago and hasn’t laid since. Apparently wind eggs (also known as cock eggs, since people once thought cockerels laid them, and fart eggs - can’t answer that one) are fairly common. But the problem is that Pattie hasn’t laid since. I have read that it can be something to do with coming to the end of a ’strain’ of eggs, and that it may take them a few days to get going again. But Pattie refuses to perch at night. Before Yoko comes in, she makes a beeline for the nest box, intending to settle down for the night. Cue the big bad Yoko who, thanks to her sterile EYP, needs the nestbox, Pattie is pushed out. At the moment Pattie is refusing to perch, which is worrying.

More worrying!

I had the rabbits out and about the other day. The hens were not too pleased, as they spied the rabbits charging about. Yoko assumed a rugby-type stance before pecking Smudge on the head for getting too close (I think Smudge was just coming up to investigate), and when Smudge did an about-turn and charged off, she was met by Maureen and Pattie. Pattie flapped her wings and both she and Maureen jumped on the poor wabbit. Chickens are so vicious sometimes. There’s no way I’d leave them out there unsupervised together. Smudge was fine though, I think she was just having fun running around under the hedges. She and Snoopy were doing lots of investigating.

I also brought them in last night to meet two of my cats. The other two live upstairs, they’ve sort of paired off and have their own private routes in and out of the house. Tortoise and Tom, the downstairs cats, weren’t too sure about bunnies charging around the living room. Tortoise is a moody mare sometimes, and she got in a right huff and grumbled as she waltzed off to the kitchen. I swear she was pouting. Tom is a lovely scallywag, totally in awe of Tortoise, sometimes nothing else in the world matters. He can be a bit dim and scatty, and didn’t seem bothered by the rabbits. Not even when Snoop worked out a route up onto the back of the sofa. Eventually they all settled down together, and by 11pm everyone was crashed out in the living room.

Right. Enough about animals.

SEEDS.

It’s going well!

My early Snowball Turnips have come up trumps - they’ve germinated really quickly under the fleece tunnel, so I’ll be pricking them out very shortly. Aubergines are going really well, although a couple withered and died in the seed tray. Peppers popped their heads out of the soil a few days ago, and the tomatoes are going great guns.

My rosemary and lavender cuttings are also establishing themselves, although the rosemary seems to be doing much better. I might try and take larger cuttings of the lavender, and give it another try. i sowed trays of Cosmos too. Last year the flowers lasted right into November, when the bees were still out. They are fantastic for colour, height and most importantly, attracting and providing food for bees. The bees and butterflies could not get enough of them last year. I thoroughly recommend them. Try growing them in seed modules, transplanting to large plots (about 2 or 3 per pot). Wait until they’re fairly well established and quite meaty in the stems, and then plant them out. I did this last year and they were poker straight, strong and lasted for months.

The Tendersnax carrots are doing well in the pots, but my seed scattering skills are not exactly desirable. I sowed most of them in a big cluster in the middle. I think by the time I’ve pricked them all out, I’ll have about 5 carrots per pot. Not exactly a veritable success. I’m still undecided about growing carrots in pots. I don’t think I would recommend it, unless the pot is massive, and unlike me, you are actually able to sow thinly.I suppose you could just harvest tender baby carrots instead. I might try that.

Garlic and super early onions are doing ok too, although the super early onion sets were put in late, so should really be described as fashionably late.

Oh, and I have still neglected to label anything I have sown. I’m too lazy to find a pencil or a waterproof pen. So I am relying on my somewhat currently patchy memory to recall what is what and where.

Two new residents arrived at the Smallest Smallholding this weekend. No, not the little guys in the pic above. We have quite a few of them already, thanks in part to the ongoing rain and hail showers.

No, this weekend saw the arrival of Snoopy and Smudge. These two loveable lop-eared bunnies are now in residence in their two-tier palatial abode (with waterproof cover, no less). They arrived on Sunday.

I have yet to photograph Smudge (female), but let Snoopy out of the run for a bit and took a couple of snaps. He was suitably unimpressed and made a dash back to The Mrs. who was lolling about without a care in the world.

OK so bunnies aren’t exactly productive like hens - they don’t pay for themselves. But my thinking is that I couldn’t bare the thought of them being rehomed with someone who would get bored and leave them sitting in a hutch all day. I have a troop of cats and hens, I thought cleaning out two bunnies wouldn’t be much more work. They’re also great at keeping the grass down, the dandelions in check and good for stress-busting.

The hens weren’t too sure about them. Maureen in particular starting doing her “I’m Not Sure” poses - head cocked to the side slightly, looking intently through one eye, standing astride with one leg straight, one leg prancing like a ballerina. Pattie chatted away, obviously discussing these strange new creatures with her housemates. As head honcho, Yoko was suitably unimpressed and apathetic about the whole situation.

I love my food, there’s no doubting that. I’ll never be one of these stick-thin types, a) because I have child bearing hips and b) because food has an important part to play in my life - growing it, cooking it and savouring it.

I come from a family where every occasion is marked by some sort of meal or foodie event. We’re a bit continental, in that our extended family often gets together and feasts. In the summer and autumn, a lot of the food we eat is home-grown, and tastes all the better for it.

I really enjoy cooking from scratch. In fact, I rarely don’t cook from scratch, unless I’m whacking something like a beanburger on. It might sound extremely tragic to those that are living high-flying careers, but cooking my dinner is a highlight of my day. Rich is far more experimental than me with his dishes -I tend to stick to my favourites (I could live on home-made soups for months on end) and cook them on a rotation. He went through a phase of making proper italian pizzas, the dough, the tomatoes, the buffalo mozzerella, fresh basil, baked on the back of a hot cast iron dish. They were stunning. He inspires me to try harder.

We both like to cook, so a lot of the time we cook our separate meals, which sometimes results in jostling and cries of “can you get out of the way!” and “oi, I need that pan!” or “do you have to stand there?”.

This summer I’m aiming to find interesting uses for all the produce at the Smallest Smallholding. I can’t wait until I’m able to walk a few yards, ponder over the vegetable patches about what to pick or pull up, and what I can do with it. At the moment though, there’s not a lot of edible stuff here, it’s all growing, germinating or yet to be sowed. I still have yet to master the whole productive year-round and storage thing.

Which means that at present, I am relying on the supermarket (bleurgh) for my ’scratch’ ingredients. Veg, passata, frozen peas et al. Farmer’s markets are thin on the ground, a bit like my cash situation. No cash, no food from the market or farm shop. The supermarket isn’t so bad at the mo, there’s a nice looking security guard there that I don’t mind ogling from afar, much to Rich’s bemusement (”…but he always looks so moody! You’re weird.”).

ANYWAY - I will finally make my point. Cash flow is crap at the moment, thanks in part to humongous vet bills, quarterly sky-high gas bills (despite our best efforts to be efficient) etc etc. So we are on a very very very tight, strict food budget. I needed to go on a bit of a diet anyway. 7 chocolate brioches, a few doughnuts, cookies, cakes and crisps later and I’m not exactly looking my best. Remember I have this school reunion to go to - I really don’t want to be the “one that got chubby”.

But being on a budget means that I am actually eating three GOOD square meals a day. I can’t afford the extras. So it’s like putting a little in and getting the maximum out. I don’t understand all this “I’m poor so I can’t afford to eat healthily” stuff. If anything, money makes me fatter! I have no self discpline when it comes to cakes, biscuits, bread and crisps.

Well it wouldn’t be a typical week at the Smallest Smallholding without a poorly hen and some baytril thrown in.

Yoko has developed a respiratory infection, something she’s prone to because of her egg yolk peritonitis condition. She has a small amount of fluid in her air sacs anyway, but the amount of fluid has increased and she’s sneezing and coughing quite a bit. We noticed this a couple of days ago, but typically it was a weekend. We rang yesterday and got her in to see our vet today - so she’s getting 1.2ml oral baytril once a day, administered in a few juicy grapes that she gobbles up. She’s also having a diuretic to try and get rid of the excess fluid. She seems ok in herself - out and about, doing chickeny things and eating well, so fingers crossed she’ll get over it. She’s actually improved since yesterday, which is a positive sign at the moment. If the antibiotics don’t nail the infection (apparently baytril is one of the fastest acting antibiotics), then they’ll try a paediatric-like nebuliser to ‘mist’ her with.

So yes, more vet bills. I did say ‘cautiously optimistic’ didn’t I?

Today however has been quite productive. Last night we spent the evening burning all the bindweed, sticks pulled out of the old compost heap, and stuff that’s too big to go through the chipper, and today I was fired up for more. After the rain had been and gone, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. After a short stroll around the place, I found myself out there in my pyjamas, working away. I have a tendency to start picking at something and then get really involved. Rich requested that I actually get properly dressed (I was stood at the gate talking to him in the kitchen, neighbour walked past and inwardly marvelled at my rain mac, pink cat pyjama bottoms and wellie-shoe combo), so I did. Sort of. A quick change into trackie bottoms and a vest top - yes, it was that warm. I did a bit of a Charlie Dimmock though. And I wouldn’t recommend it.

Anyhow, I digress.

A few months ago we salvaged some bricks that were going to landfill. They were rescued from our local lower school, where they formed the well-trodden path of many a child, including me. It seemed mad that they were going to the tip - they were in tip top condition. I’d already laid some as a path inside the greenhouse, and as a small paved area just outside it to put pots on. I had quite a few left over, and I’ve been using them to outline the new larger veg plot. Thing is, I’ve got halfway round and realised that I haven’t got enough to do the whole job. POO BUM! I’ll have to subsitute with some of my (different coloured/shaped) freecycle bricks. It’ll look crude (rustic, in my language), but it’ll do it’s job.

Anyway got a few canes up, planted out the 4 broadbeans I’ll trialed in the pots (done very well, thanks) and put in enough for a small crop around the rest of the canes. At least this way I’ll have a longer spell of cropping, having staggered their planting. Although, if I was really clever, I’d have put all the remainder beans in at more intervals. Now I’ll have a few followed by a glut. That’s if Mr Mouse,or Miss Hen, or a naughty little kitty cat doesn’t get to them first! It’s my first year growing beans, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Also sowed in two small rows of early turnips by the beans, simply because I couldn’t work out where else to put them. They should really have gone in a lot earlier to make the most of their early-ness. But I like to fly by the seat of my pants (ahem) and live life on the edge. They need to be kept moist to prevent woody flesh, so I hope this year I pull my socks up where the watering is concerned. Would help if I could rig up a couple of extra waterbutts, but unfortunately personal finances don’t allow this. And waterbutts on Freecycle are like gold dust.

Finally, as dusk descended and the light faded tonight, I forked the ground around the growing onions. The soil is so sandy that it develops a sort of ‘crust’ that isn’t particularly permeable for rain. So I gave it a good turn, taking care not to disturb the onions or their roots.

A better day than I had anticipated.

It’s been a good month or so since Pattie last laid an egg.

But it seems that she’s getting over her mystery illness. This morning I got up, let them out and hung around when I noticed she’d gone back in the nest box.

About 25 minutes later she re-emerged, looking rather pleased with herself. “BBBRRrrGAAAHHHH!” she said. So I peeped in the nestbox, and there is was, the egg that has almost laid to rest weeks of worry.

I say ‘almost’ because I can’t help but be cautiously optimistic. I’m hoping that this is the beginning of a quiet period, as far as chicken health at the Smallest Smallholding goes.

I try not to kill anything. I don’t swot flies, I try to not provide ants with ideal nesting sites, and with 4 cats on site, mice don’t tend to make themselves known. I am with Chris Packham on this one - live and let live. Which means that things like aphids can become a real problem. I don’t like to use the word pest, because I suppose in some cases, one person’s pest is another beast’s fodder. Or something.

I suppose the answer to successfully growing vegetables and wildlife planting without using standard pest control is to implement and encourage natural predators. Ok, so this is me passing the buck and getting other wildlife to do my dirty work, but I think it’s the lesser of two evils. It also means that I can put more time into productive vegetable growing and gardening!

I’m a release site for Bedfordshire Wildlife Rescue’s rehabilitated hedgehogs, so naturally the Smallest Smallholding is a hedgehog friendly environment. And guess what - I don’t have a problem with slugs or snails. However, the aphids came out in earnest earlier this month, sucking away on the ivy and Paul’s Himalayan Musk rose, steadily making their way to the greenhouse. Well, in fact, they were in the (unheated) greenhouse until the hard frosts and snow came back. They’d sucked the life out of my chives. So this year I have to really look at ways to discourage them and the other munchy munchers both here at the Smallest Smallholding and down on the allotment.

A solution is to undertake some companion planting to deter unwanted beasties - things like marigolds and basil next to the tomatoes, planting onions and carrots together, bay leaves next to the beans (get away Mr Weevil!) and any alliums near the fruit trees. We also have dill growing here and there, a favourite for the aphid-eating machines that are hoverflies.

Another solution is to wildlife garden to enourage the natural predators such as hedgehogs, hoverflies, ladybirds and lacewings. Supplying them with shelter spots and habitats, as well as food is vital. At the moment we have buddleia coming through - the equivalent of an open bar to a butterfly - lavender and rosemary, cosmos to be planted (flowered through to Novemeber last year), and I imagine a lot of the attractive annuals such the borage, cornflowers and verbena bonariensis will have reseeded themselves this year. But I definitely need to do more.

The birds help - sparrows in particular love to pick the aphids off the orange blossom. And of course the hens are also a great help in this respect too. They go fly catching on warm afternoons, cluck and shriek with delight when they unearth grubs, and love to pick at the really small slugs. Last year I let them have the run of the veg plots, and apart from decimating my lettuces (my mistake for uncovering them) and the odd nip at a carrot top, everything was left in place.

The only solution I haven’t managed to find yet, is how to deter Mr Moth from my damson and plum trees. Not sure if alliums deter moths, and I certainly don’t want to put up any of those indiscriminate sticky traps either.

Oh dear. I’m having a bit of a personal crisis at present.

I can tell because the day before yesterday, I managed to eat 7 chocolate brioches (there were only 8 in the packet) in the space of about 2 hours. Something is definitely amiss.